Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
