Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
