I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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