I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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