can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
