For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
