Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
