Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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