I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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