Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
