that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize