You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
