Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
