So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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