Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize