dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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