There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
