i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
