My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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