Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
