meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
