I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
