there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
