she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
