You don't have asthma, your pregnant
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
