I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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