I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
