Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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