i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
