New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
