i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
