I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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