PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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