her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
