Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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