glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
