I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i already hear my dad disowning me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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