so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
This house was built for laser tag.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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