I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
