Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
