I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
