I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
