3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
