I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
