We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
