You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
