then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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