so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
