In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
