Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
