that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize
