I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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