gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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