Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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