He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
