I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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