Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Small penises have feelings too.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
