TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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