maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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