I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
